Married Artists on the Road: Advice for Balancing Marriage and Work
When Betty and Mike Bills first started doing art shows together, they both still had full-time jobs and only participated in shows that were on weekends.
The two artists have now been traveling and working together at shows for 26 years. “This takes a lot of patience, work, and a big commitment to our business,” she said. “You both have to be on board with this in order to have it work.”
She is a wood artist, while his medium is industrial pipe lamps. Betty Bills said that in addition to commitment, communication and organization are important. Their family members have also helped them at large shows.
The couple recently celebrated their 50th anniversary, and if she could go back 20 years, Bills would tell her younger self to remember it takes a lot of patience and give and take from both spouses to balance marriage and this type of career.
Working together is not always easy, she said. They have their own workspaces. “Mike works mainly in the garage, and I work mostly in the basement, so this works for us,” Bills said. “We both have our tasks and rely on each other to complete them. We both have a high level of workmanship and strive to always continue that expectation. Our customers comment on this frequently.”
Larry and Pam Smith have also been married for 50 years. Both oil painters, they have been traveling and doing art shows together for 20 years. “Pray together,” is his advice for other married artists.
Remember Snacks and More
Hannah Boyd and her husband, Peter Sanga Boyd, have been traveling and working together at art shows all their three-year marriage. She said their advice for couples like themselves is to supply lots of snacks.
Her mediums include acrylic, watercolor, and oil painting, while his are acrylic and oil painting. She said it is important to respect each other’s space and way of describing their process.
“Even though you work on the same thing, your perspectives are often different — both during the process and with how you interpret the result,” Hannah Boyd said. “While at shows, do not interrupt each other. Use the comedic trick of ‘Yes, and’ to keep the flow happening as you experience or describe a different take. Tension between you is tangible to others. Be on the same page before the show.”
Carrie Yenovich said it is important to “give a little, take deep breaths, and think about what you want to say before you say it. There can be two rights. You just need to agree on the one that works best.”
She and her husband, Shango, are both fused glass artists. Married 26 years, they have been traveling and working together at art shows for two years.
Yenovich said if she could go back 10 years, she would advise her younger self to let her husband help her figure things out but to also learn to do those things herself. His schedule does not always line up with her schedule, she said.
Working with a spouse is not easy, but the shared love of art is the glue that keeps them going, said Maria Isabel Lazo. Married 41 years, this couple has done shows together for 15 years. Her medium is mixed media acrylic, and his is resin.
Be Equal Partners
Photographers Dave and Diane Buerger have been married 51 years and have been traveling to art shows for 18 years. “Partners should share in the work equally. When you get to the site, one should not do all the work in setting up, talking to customers, tearing down, etc.,” he said. “Too many artists sit back and let the spouse do all the manual labor, then take all the credit for sales. The sale is not just creating the artwork but rather creating the artwork, booking the shows, setting up the tent/display, selling to the attendees, then packing up after the show. Without a full partnership in all aspects, no artwork will ever be sold … ergo not art!”
Kathy Garrett is a fiber artist, while her husband, Mike, is a wood artist. They have worked together at art shows for 10 of their 36 years of marriage.
“I would have never thought we would be doing something like this 20 years ago. I guess I would tell myself to make sure that each one of you knows your job,” Garrett said of what she would tell her younger self. “I am the record keeper. My husband is the logistic person. We each know each other knows what they are doing, and we don’t argue with each other when one of us says this is how it needs to be. Know your partner’s strengths and don’t stand in their way.”
Photo courtesy of Images by P&P Photography
JoAnn and Dean VanDeCarr have traveled and worked together at art shows for 42 of their 48 years of marriage. She is a carved wood artist. He is a wood artist. “Join forces where you can, but understand some things are best done separately,” is her advice for other married artists.
Brian and Pamela Reagan are digital artists. Married 52 years, they have traveled and done art shows together for six years.
“Both of us need to carefully consider recommendations from one or the other. I always credit the final form of our No. 1 print with my wife’s recommendation to add an element to an existing collage,” he said. “We should have worked together 20 years ago and every year in between. She is invaluable to me and the success of our business. I always give her credit for some great suggestions.”
Make Time for Fun
Garrett and her husband try to have fun no matter what the situation is. She also said that “whatever you do, do not talk to your spouse like they are your employee. This is the person you are going home with or spending the night in a hotel together. You will see this person when you get back home. Do your best to keep things fun between the both of you. Your customers will be able to tell if you are not having a good relationship with your coworker (spouse).”
For Boyd and her husband, they have found that having shared interests — in addition to art — also keeps the travel fun and light. “Lots of studies show how important play and rest are for a human being. For us, balancing marriage and careers means not all trips are for business. Often making art is idealized as full-time play, especially for newbies or people transitioning from a demanding corporate career,” she said. “In our first year or so, we saw our traveling to shows as paid-for vacation destinations. However, this robbed the joy of really experiencing the place. We found shows brought a level of stress with the excitement. The mere logistics of packing for shows and making sales change what the trip can be. You still have deadlines to be at certain places on time.”
They struggled balancing finances and felt like art shows were costing too much. “In summary, the helpful bit was actually separating play time from work time and valuing both. We travel together for meditation and Jane Austen events,” Hannah Boyd said. “At home, I sew while Peter does art construction. We define our roles in painting together and redefine as much as necessary — ambiguity eases no one’s tension.”
She said art is not all play. “It may involve play, and hopefully is fulfilling, but the expectation that an art career is always enjoyable is a ‘grass is always greener’ outlook on someone else’s career,” Boyd said. “It is dismissive of the time, skill, and experience that goes into making art. Self-worth is often brought into whether or not your art makes money, and this rears its ugly head in your marriage. Having other interests which naturally contribute to a higher sense of self-worth will ease the struggles as you work out your marriage and art careers together.”