Artists Marrying Artists
Times Have Changed — Have Artist Marriages, Too?
There are a number of reasons why people marry or divorce, and sometimes, it is because they are both artists. Another artist will understand the art one is attempting to create, will accept the lifestyle, and will serve as an in-house supporter as well as an experienced eye. Another artist may also be in-house competition and one’s fiercest critic, resentful of one’s success and scornful in his or her own.
It is not infrequent that artists marry each other, as the people they tend to meet in their art studies, at gallery openings, or through their professional associations often are involved in the art world. Leon Golub and Jack Beal, for instance, met their wives (Nancy Spero and Sondra Freckelton, respectively) while attending the Art Institute of Chicago.
Despite the real benefits for an artist of marrying (or living with) another artist, the identical careers — regardless of how dissimilar their respective artwork may be — create tensions for the two of them. Being an artist requires an ego of considerable size; two such people may find themselves clashing frequently, even if their disputes have nothing to do with their art or careers. Strong, unbending wills have destroyed more marriages than anything else.
Talk It Through
Some artists approach these issues in advance by talking out a list of potential concerns. Beal proposed to Freckelton three times before she finally accepted. “At first, he had the idea that I might be Madame Matisse, but I said ‘no’ to that. I didn’t study art in order not to have a career on my own,” she said. The back of their 1953 marriage certificate included a written agreement of partnership, establishing that they are equal partners.
“Artists have to outline what the dangers are, could be, might have been,” said Miriam Schapiro, a painter who was married to another painter, Paul Brach, for more than 40 years. “You have to discuss whether or not to have the same or separate friends, whether you want to be treated as a couple or as individuals, whether your careers allow you to have a family, where you want to live, whether you want to be in the same gallery or not. They’re all difficult subjects, but married couples — especially those with the same career — have to be able to communicate.”
Establish Boundaries
Other artists attempt to resolve the tensions of both spouses being artists by establishing separate studios (sometimes never even visiting each other’s studios), using different dealers, and generally staying out of each other’s careers.
One example of this was the house Mexican muralist Diego Rivera had built for himself and his painter wife, Frida Kahlo. There were two separate buildings, containing two separate living units and art studios, connected by a bridge on the second-floor level.
Having two distinct studios, one for her in the garage and one for him away from the house, is “a physical manifestation of what is already going on,” said Scott Prior, who was married to — and is now divorced from — Nanette Vonnegut, both of whom are painters. “If we are too close, we sort of step on each other’s toes. We do talk about each other’s work, but there are times when Nanny would just as soon that I not say anything about her work because I can be disruptive.”
Competitive Forces
It is relatively seldom that both artists in a marriage receive the same degree of attention and success in selling their work. At times, one artist’s career is clearly on the rise while the other’s has peaked, a scenario played out in the film A Star Is Born. Collectors, critics, and dealers may visit one artist’s studio and not the other’s, which can be especially painful when the two artists share the same space. Competition and anger may enter a relationship.
“When my wife’s career is doing better than mine,” Golub said, “I don’t feel as good about myself and may develop resentment.” Golub said he directs that resentment elsewhere — at limited thinking in the art world, for instance — and not at his wife.
The tension and sense of competition may be too great for some marriages. The wives of Edward Hopper and Philip Pearlstein gave up their art careers, for instance, believing there could only be one “genius” in the family.
Sally Avery said her “career has flourished over the past 20 years” since her husband, Milton Avery, died. While he was alive, “I wasn’t trying to promote my own work. I tried to promote his work because I thought he was a better artist than me.”
Symptoms of Other Problems
Problems are not necessarily lessened when an artist marries someone who is not an artist. Janet Fish, a painter who first married and divorced an artist, then married and divorced a nonartist, and currently lives with another artist, said, “Problems about being an artist are really symptomatic of other problems in the relationship. Men simply have more problems than women with competition. There is something in their upbringing that requires them to be the breadwinner. The bad relationships I’ve had have been when the man’s ego has been too tender.”
She further said, “I know some women artists who say their husbands never come to their openings or to see their shows, as though they are trying to deny these careers exist.”
A Personal Decision
While artists marrying artists has a certain logic, the history of art reveals many examples of artists preferring a caretaker. Almost the entire abstract expressionist movement of the 1940s and ’50s, for instance, was supported by the wives of the major artists.
Barnett Newman’s wife, Anna Lee, for example, was a typing instructor. Mark Rothko’s wife worked as a model, and Adolph Gottlieb’s wife, Esther, taught school.
In Europe, it was a tradition for artists to marry “working girls.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe married his housekeeper, as did Pierre Bonnard and Marc Chagall — when his first wife left him, Chagall married his next housekeeper. This kind of marriage (and this kind of support for male artists in general) has largely disappeared with the advent of the women’s liberation movement.
Marriage, of course, is not a professional decision but a personal one. The success rate of marriages is not necessarily improved when artists marry critics or dealers, and in many respects, the marriages of artists are no different than those of everyone else.
Some artists get along well enough both personally and professionally that they, like Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen or Edward Kienholz and Nancy Reddin Kienholz, could collaborate on art projects.
Others, whose artistic ideas are not easily compatible, keep their marriage out of their careers as best they can. “I think it’s hard to be an artist married to an artist. I think it’s generally hard to be married and be an artist,” said painter Lois Dodd, who was once married to sculptor William King. “When you’re married, you have to think of another person, and art is a very selfish activity.”
Read advice about how to balance marriage and work from couples here.